Backstories

I Am

This song was a direct reaction to a total pain in the ass hardwares salesman.  I walked in and asked if I could have a set of hex wrenches, in a swiss-army knife stlye.  (I had already read the directions for the futon I was taking apart, and they suggested that having a set would be useful.)

The man behind the counter started our exchange poorly.  He walked up and said "How can I help you today, little lady?".  He could not have sounded more condecending if he had tried.  I explained my need.  He asked me what kind of project I was working on.  I told him.  He responded "Well you don't need no hex keys, what you need is a phillips and a flat-head screw driver."  I was still reeling from the "little lady" when I reemphasized my need.  He insisted that I was wrong as I followed him to the shelves where the screwdrivers were.  I told him he could sell me a set of hex keys, in the style I wanted, and if they didn't work I would come back and purchase two(2) of his most expensive phillips and flat headed screwdrivers.  He agreed.

Needless to say, I finished my project with my hex keys and I got this song in exchange for not killing him on the spot for being the total jerk he was.

Sound Is

This song came to me when I attended a weekend intensive at Laurelin Community, in Bethel, VT.  The land itself moves me.  The community is my family, and has the most breathtaking view at sunrise.  I was discussing how sound can generate a closer bond between Gods and humans.  This is one thing some religions have capitalized on.

My whole goal with Acapagana is to get more people in touch with the old Gods by singing.  By singing our ancestor's bones we can connect with their wisdom.  By singing our own song, we can connect to our true selves.  Sound=I AM

I use this when I am trying to create something new in myself.  I hope it helps one of you do the same.

Seal of Baphomet

My friend Kathy was playing her recorder one day and the melody stuck in my head.  For weeks I walked around with the beat in my head and no words.  I was just about to fall asleep one night and WHALLAH! Seal of Baphomet, three words..only three words.

Then one day I was listening to a song where the imagery of ships and sails and vessels came into play and I could see that I was made a vessel of sacred sound and I was swirling around in a sea of words, letting my heart lead the way... so the song goes.

Pagan Man

This song was written for a friend who thought moving away from our community, to another state, would help him network better and create a more active community.  We longed for him in his absence.  We wanted him to come home, but were willing to let him take his journey at his own pace and we tried to support him in his decision.  This song came when one of my friends said it would probably fall to me to "call" him home.  When I asked the Gods how I could call him home, this song was their answer.

He eventually missed us enough to finally come home.  We are so happy and lucky to have him among us.

Imbolg Morn

This song came through me when I was really dealing with someone I disliked.  My dislike was running through me and I was looking for a way to change our relationship so I wasn't filled with so much rage at having to work with this person.  So I decided, one Imbolg morning, before traveling to celebrate with my community in Bethel, Vt, that I would try to act as this person's friend, trying to appreciate WHY this person was so mean to me.  I decided to forgive and for one day be a friend.

This person did not choose to be friendly to me, not even for the day...but I did and that was all that mattered.  Every inch of hate that occupies your heat is one less inch love can take up.  When I asked the Gods how I could help others who may be going through a similar situation, this was their gift.

Peace is Love

This song was my entry into the Vermont Peace song contest.  I performed it in front of a small crowd in Montpelier, VT.  I purposely chose the direction of the song to show people that it is really easy to love.  Every small act that we do, with other's benefit in mind, is love.

When I was handfasted, my partner and I took vows to live the "verb you" philosophy.  Too many people say I Love You, when they don't mean it.  We wanted others to know how important we feel that doing for others is a huge part of who we are and what we live for.

"What is your verb?" This means what are you willing to do in the name of universal love.

Wicker Man

One year, at Laurelin Community, one of the children suggested that when we burned the Wicker Man, we should sing.  He said that was supposed to happen when you die, people sing.  I asked him if he would sing one if I wrote one.  He said yes. ( The children of the community are often the reason I write, so they, and their children, can have an oral tradition through song.)

So as I stood, watching my lord flame to ash, I asked him what he would like to hear us sing as he traveled from our plane to the otherworld.  The melody came instantly.  It wasn't until the following year, when we were building him up again that the words came through.....That was the year I asked him to help me transform my love of music into a career.  (The kids still love to sing it.)

Last year (2007) I stood before him and begged him, once more to help me.  He looked down on me sternly and said I hadn't done any of the work, why should he help me.  I begged him again, I promised I would do the work.  He told me to prove it and he would help me.  This year (2008) I offered up a blue bird figurine as proof I had done the work he asked me.  He told me to continue and my rewards would come.  So when he is born again, this Solstice, he will be treated to the fully formed and marketed product.  I hope he likes it, I hope you like it.

Bright Blessings of the Lord on your dreams too.

Call at Hallow’s Eve

This song was written when I visited the grave of my maternal grandparents.  They were not really nice to my mother, uncles and aunts when they were alive. I still feel obligated to visit them because none of the others will..  I am the only one who will listen and call to their bones, and that means that I am the only one to receive their wisdoms when they choose to share.

The melody was stuck in my head one day when I was swinging with some children.  It wasn't until I was sitting there, between the two of them,  telling them all about my dreams of being a saught after lyricist, that the words came through.  I had to rush to the car and find a piece of paper and a working pen to get all the words written down.

It was lovely to sing it for my community when we celebrated together the thinning of the veil.  I believe that the women in my bloodline watch over me and are waiting for me to realize my dreams and validate their constant vigil.  I hope next year to show them my album and revel in their pride.

Appalachian Consolation

As a full bossomed woman, who just happens to be blonde, I am often told that I could be another Dolly Parton.  When I was younger my mother often played Gospel in our house a lot.  Every time Dolly would sing one I would tune right in.  She is an inspiration.

I have writen many a Gospel song in my day, which makes it that much easier to be a vessel of sacred song for the pagan dieties.

When I first sang it to someone, they said that they could hear the fiddle in their head as I sang.  This one could very easily be my favorite song to sing, but they are all gifts, and to choose a favorite would be unfair.

I can often imagine being in the backwoods of Vermont, raising my own food, living in balance with the Earth and singing this, and the others, to my grand-children.....and possibly knowing you will sing it to your grand-babies as well.

Sol

My friend Sandy had her son on a Winter Solstice.  I had just started writing songs for my son at that time.  When this came through me I instantly knew I should let Sandy know how inspired I was.  Although I don't see Sol and his siblings much now that I live so far away from him...but I love singing this song every year as the sun rises on Solstice.  I always sing this one first.

I often think back to when my son/sun was born.  He has always been my light, but I also remember crying when I saw him for the first time.  Having someone who relies on you 100% of the time, and living up to the expectations of The Great Mother in raising him was the hardest thing I have ever done.  It is also the most wonderful thing I have ever done.  His presence on this album was a gift to me, a gift from the Lord of Days himself.

The Light is Restored

This song originated with an astral trip back to the ring of birch trees on my Grandma Hester's farm.  This is the first place that I danced for the moon.  This was the first place I pretended to be the most powerful witch in world.  (Named Sabrina at birth I wanted the power to make others stop laughing at me and my name, who knew I would one day change my name, but want others to laugh, even if it was at me)

It was Yule, and I was back among the sleeping trees.  I could hear the labored breathing of the Goddess as she bore her son into the world.  The wind heralded the news.  When I came back from my trip I lit the Yule log and asked the new King to lighten my load and grow prosperity for me.

I remembered the Beltane of that year and how much fun I had dancing around the maypole.  I remembered thinking it would be cool if the Lady and Lord were to dance around the maypole, after we had left for our homes, deciding to create and express love right there where we danced.

The song was easy to write as it was heartfelt.  The first time it was performed my son had added movements to the chorus that *made* it.  '

 I wish all the songs were this easy to finish, but alas some gifts come with a price.

Sing Ye All

I decided that, after years of singing "wicced" Christmas carols at Yule, we needed to have a whole new hymnal soley dedicated to original Yuletide songs.  I also hate really sad mournful tunes around the Solstice as my S.A.D. gets really bad if I don't spend enough time in the sun during the winter.  I often envision myself climbing up a huge tree on the morning of Solstice with an offering in my hand and blowing it out to the sun as I sing wonderful tunes to wake the sun up by. 

My mother has always made Christmas time wonderful, though a bit too comercial.   It was never about the Christian Christ Jesus, but it was about SANTA.  I like the idea of having a spirit of the giving season named Santa who brings light into our lives by giving us gifts(especially if that gift is someone's time or energy to help you along the way to being happy).  I try to make most, if not all of my Yule gifts to hand out between Solstice and Imbolg.  I like to think of myself as being part of SANTA (Solstice Aspected Nicely Through Action).  I firmly believe that love is a verb and its not really what you give to someone that counts but the thought behind the selection/or the time needed for the creation of the gift that is truely what brings light to someone.

 I loved the carolers that came by every year.  They brave the cold to warm your heat.  I wanted to create that for my son by gathering a whole bunch of people to come to our house and sing Yule songs, not Christmas songs....but how to do it????  So I decided I would call to them with song and ask them to come along and join us.  This song has everything I love the best about the Solstice.  Hope, Faith, Love and Light. 

Perhaps one day we will have an open enough society where if a group of pagans braved the cold and sang solstice carols to their neighbors they would be invited in for cocoa too and perhaps some folks who are prejudice due to ignorance could become enlightened.

Sun-Sol-Helios

One year my grove drove to American Stonehenge for Summer Solstice Rites.  We stayed up all night making alterations to our robes and gathering up supplies for the day.  It just happened to be the weekend that a Harry Potter book was being released.

We all got in the car and headed to the bookstore.  While standing in line I was reminded that the Sun would be in a clear sky for most of the day and I really needed to get sunblock.  I tried to remember, as I was getting sunblock, all the names of the Sun that I knew.  I only knew three.. Sun, Sol and Helios.and then I began to say them over and over.  The chant of the names became powerful inside me.  I shared it with my grovemates and they, too, liked it.

When we were asked if our grove would like to call the Southern Quarter of the circle at the Solstice rite we were excited.  The other grovemates chanted S,S,H and I let the spirit fill me and allowed other words to flow from me while they chanted.  I don't remember what they were, I was not quite present in mind at the time.  It always bothered me that I couldn't remember.  I asked if I might  be given some other words to expand the chant into a full song.  I was swinging with some children at a local park when the words came through. 

Sometimes I use the chant at summer solstice, but I use the full song as a Yule in honor of the Sun's rebirth.